just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
