I heard we made out
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
high people should be assigned attendants
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
