Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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