Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize