You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
