Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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