omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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