I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
