no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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