She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
false alarm. still invincible.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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