Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
where does the pee come out of this thing
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
