This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
honey bunches of taint.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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