So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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