Moan for me like Helen Keller
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize