Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

basic color theory

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(616): View more from Michigan

whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.

(231): View more from Michigan

i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.

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(330): View more from Ohio

You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.

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(226): View more from Ontario

You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF

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(541): View more from Oregon

I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn

(803): View more from South Carolina

i'll bring the vodka

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