Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
