Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just gargled with NyQuil
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize