ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
