guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
