Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
