i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
