the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
