8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
