why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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