apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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