so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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