Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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