sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
