I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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