Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
