you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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