it was like his penis was on wheels.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
