i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
