i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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