New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
