Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
