She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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