can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
