One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
