i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
