Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
