wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize