Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
