I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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