I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
