we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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