I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
