wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
