You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
