Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
