If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
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