you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize