you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
