"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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