I'm laying in your front yard are you home
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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