Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
