Christians are straight up FREAKS
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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