It's Friday. Sex?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
