I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can't put those talents on a resume
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
