You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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