This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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