what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
