think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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