Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
