it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
