soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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